Jimmy and Facing My "Whiteness"

Well this week has been a huge week for AIS-Kenya and myself as we have dealt with  a huge loss to the Petra Boys senior team. Jimmy who was one of the founding members of Petra Boys back in 2002 when suffered from a brain aneurysm earlier this week. Jimmy definitely lead a life that glorified the Lord, and was a huge example to the younger Petra Boys who have come through the team.

With Jimmy's death, I have continually been reminded of my skin and the expectations that come with it. For instance, Jimmy was a good friend to me and yet because of my skin color, it wouldn't be good for me to go visit the family or even participate in  local football match to raise funds for his funeral. The expectations would be to great on me just because of my "whiteness." I've come to grip with me being a minority as well as one that is expected to help out financially in every situation, but it's been hard to not act and just listen to the advice of my friends and co-workers who insist on me not meeting the family or anything until its all said and done at the funeral.

Being in this situation of being a minority is definitely something I will never forget because it has forced me to see things in  completely different light than what I would have received if I had stayed in the states. I am now more aware of my surroundings, like the neighborhood, people sitting next to me on the public transportation, how close the person is walking next to me, asking myself "why is this person talking to me and what do they want?" Honestly, it can be overwhelming at times, but it makes me think of all the minorities in the states in how they felt / feel now. It's such an interesting perspective to always be aware of your skin color and what it has the potential to provoke, but it's also a valuable lesson in learning how being white in the states is something that doesn't carry any of the weight or lessons as being African American, Latino, Mexican, etc.

I'm sure coming back to the states will be something like a shock when I'm no longer a minority when seeing two white people in one day is an achievement and something that all my kenyan friends conclude automatically that they are my cousins.

Please keep praying for me as I continue to deal with this reality because it implies a lot, especially being in a country that has a "take" mentality. So whether I'm walking through a crowd or dealing with my house help, because of my whiteness it's assumed that I have money and will help any and everyone, that I'm great target for pick pocketers, and that the corrupt public transportation system (matatus) can take advantage of me. I hate it, but that's what it is. I only pray that through this, I come out with a better understanding of people of different races, can adapt easily to what people deal with, and think very carefully before I talk.